Between Death and Living

Its hard to find answer when you are assuming, the problem right now is I have given up on assertaining the truth. I felt betrayed, I know there must been some rational and acceptable explaination behind it, but I gave up. I never thought that it would end up this way. At way hand I felt coming up to Apek straight and whack the shit of him, but I know its not worth it, I should let it go, let everything go, leave everything which are painful and start a new. In a way the truth is reveal, what am I and how am I worth at the eyes of Apek, that I'm just another baggage, he had to fake his sincerety to be my friend. There's no necessity to extend ones hand when one is not needed, I'll keep it to those who is longing.

As how I was before, I did stupid thing when life 'fuck' me in the ass, and how it is before, the cheap door out to all this pain is drugs. By the time I knew it I was so close to overdosing myself, anything more I would be dead. As I was deep at the otherside, I couldn't feel my whole entire body, it was numb at first then it was none. As I was deep and deep, I saw her, she was in a drees, white, with her hair as how I prefer it, and her smile that I've always love, the wrinkle on her nose when she does the smile, and her joyish carefree eyes looking at me, staring through my soul like an angel, then I call out her name, and then everything gone and I couldn't remember anything. As my friend told me, they were dead worried, they really though I was dead, until a few minutes later I was breathing again. Giant was so worried, he'd check my breathing almost every 5 minutes.

I guess I could say, for a second I was at 'the in-between', between death and living, and between death and living I found her at her most angelic and majestic look, at her most beautiful existence. I was waiting for a sign, a sign for me to either wait or move on, and I've found it that night. I should move on, God has reveal her at her best, and I'm the only person who saw her in such a way, therefore regardless with any man she is with, yet none of them saw her as how I see her, as I saw her between death and living, and I could not ask for anything more than that.