Falling In Love.

Few years back I was living aimlessly, I was into alchohol, drugs and on casual sex spree. Life was fun and not so fun. Then I commit myself to one women, got married and living with a routine and full of dicipline. Being married takes a lot away from you, one foremost is freedom. The freedom to do whatever you want. You can't! Not being married you can't. You have to do everything together, with each other approval and consent. I remember Uncle's Joe saying, "there is a lot of other way to kill yourself, why choose marriage?". Yet, I miss being married. I miss the company of a woman, who is not just there for a fuck, but other infinite intimacy, like talking, sharing stuff, and sensitiveness.

Now, I'm back to square one again. Alchohol, drugs and casual sex spree again, and this time its not as cool as few years back, because of the age catching up. Doing drugs, alchohol and sleeping around when you are 20s is cool, but after 7 years and you still onto those shit is not. It shows that you have a real problem of moving on and progressing.

Motivation is an essential part in living, you have to keep yourself motivated at all time to keep you going. Let is be any reason, women money, welth or whatever. Me currently have none. I'm living through the motion and taking it as how it is. Its much easier, yes, but it is somehting that I'm not use to as I always have something that I look forward to. Maybe I need a woman, woman's love works me like a charm. I remember the time when I fall in love, I was a totally different person. Maybe I need to fall in love again, which would be a slight problem because I have to learned how...