It has been 3 days since I finally confess my feelings to her. Why am I unsettle? I guess no matter how much I deny it, I have to admit that I have to know the answer. Does she shares the same feeling too, or not, and continue her relationship with her boyfriend.
What really sucks settling personal issue over the internet is it makes u paranoid. You'll be checking your mail profusely, and if it still no reply you'll be wondering whether she got it or not, or maybe there is connection error and she never receive, or perhaps the boyfriend read it before her and deleted it.
Whatever it is, I guess deep down inside I have to slowly admit it that me and her is not going to happen. That perhaps maybe, I'm bound to be alone, and living the rest of my life wondering how does it feel to have companionship of the love of your life.
I knew that she has always been a loyal person, not Japanese but more of Italian style of loyalty, where fuck whoever the hell you one but always comeback to that one person.
At this point, I have given up on pursuing love. Love, true love is vaguely subjective, distincly esoteric and ridicolously ideal. Most of my love affair ends up with tragedy, and like most tragedy it took years to rebuild.
She would be the last and final series of my disappointment. She will be deemed as the one whose name shall not be mention. I will always and continue loving her, her special spot in my heart will remain.
This year, I will determine my priority, what I want to do, who shall I be, which principle shall I adopt and stand on. I will take as long as I have to redefine my character. Its important to me. I believe I am destine for greater endeavours in life. Maybe I should focus on a far greater cause, like the world hunger or some other international crisis. Maybe this adversary is a push out off the comfort zone. Whatever it is, the case of Neerde is close. I shall, and will not ever, in this life or after open it again. Its done, and its time for me to love me, for me to comfort, pamper and care me. The adventure of 2010 now begins, enter responsibly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment