Sex and Love Making

I notice that smoking regular cigarettes at night finish off way more quicker than than during the day. Maybe I should switch to smoking the cheap Indonesian cigarettes during the night, the one which take ages to finish. Then again maybe I should just stop smoking, prolong my living with better health, live longer. But again, do I really have a good reason to live longer than those of average?

At this point, my reason of living is vague and blurry. Why do I get up every morning, riding my bike to work, eating and earning? What are my cause? My ultimate cause? Would my cause be ordinary or extra ordinary? Some people live for money, to buy stuff. Just plain stuff like mobile phone or fancy cloth. That's ordinary. Some live for their boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, or kids. To provide and make them happy. That's still ordinary. Perhaps I should choose a greater cause like, living to abolish third world hunger, living for the peace of the people in the middle east, or rallying literacy in the third worl country. Now that is extra ordinary. A man standard and value is judge by the cause he choose for living. Do you agree.

Looking at our existence, our life as a human being start from a critically perceptive intercourse. Our life begin when two genitals from the opposing sex with the same function meet. Some people call it sex others call it love making. In my definition, if its a meningless go on a random, I called it having sex, and if its with someone you love, which the affairs you would remember for the rest of your life, I called it love making. In my life, I had sex WAY more than I make love. That's sad.

What is love? Love is spiritual. Something which is undefineable by words and manifest through action. Which its cause and logic escape humans comprehention, undefineable. as an example, the case of Romeo and Juliet. Romeo kill himself knowing that Juliet is no longer living. Romeo lives for Juliet, she is his cause, he breath for her, beats for her, when she's no longer living, he has no reason to stand but to end his life. We might called him foolish, but that is his choosen, and his choice fullfil him physically and spiritually. Therefore, we will settle that striving and pursuing our cause fullfil us, and we are looking for fullfilment, and what fullfil us define us, as we are a creature who seeks for answer and fullfilment from the answer.

I remember a lot of sex and very less love making. There was sex on a girl parent's bedroom, sex on the sofa, the kitchen table, sex at a club washroom, in the car, on a car, beside a car, next to a car, a moving car(don't ask, I don't even know how that happened). Point is, I remember the places but not the person. When you have sex and not love making, during the course its you and yourself. Its all about you and your fullfilment, you. You only care about you and you alone. When love making you would remember everything, its you and the person you love, you would want to remember every moment. You wouldn't want it to end, because it was so special and the first time only happen once. Its beautiful, the meetings of God greatest creation, and from it, its made another one.